


Five Times (almost) Sgt. Siler Got Caught With His Pants Down

by draco_somnians



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Backstory, Crack, Explicit Language, F/M, Graphic Sex, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-16
Updated: 2010-03-16
Packaged: 2017-10-08 01:06:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/71124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/draco_somnians/pseuds/draco_somnians





	Five Times (almost) Sgt. Siler Got Caught With His Pants Down

1\. The first time had been completely unexpected. He’d been in the classroom after school with the senior who was tutoring him in French. It was the only class he was failing miserably and six months of tutoring hadn’t pulled his grade up at all. Probably because he spent most of these extra-curricular lessons staring at her pretty mouth, watching her form deliciously curvaceous words that just sounded flat and dull when he tried to repeat them.

He’d been absolutely certain back then that he loved her, and looking back even decades later, he was still certain. Not his first, but definitely his first love; the standard every woman in his future would be judged by.

He rested his head on his hand and sighed as he watched her full, shiny lips, watched her tongue roll her “r”s around her mouth, watched her fiery red curls bounce every time she moved her head. He let the sound of her voice drift around him, but couldn’t make out a word of what she was saying.

“Are you even listening?” she asked sharply, smiling when he jumped and sat up straight.

“Yes,” he answered. They both knew it was a lie.

“Look, I know it’s boring...” her hand slid across the table, her fingers brushed against his and then all he could hear was the rush of blood in his ears. She was no doubt once again lecturing him about his grades, how good a second language would look on his college applications and a whole host of other things he’d heard a dozen times over to justify his still being in school at 4pm.

She was leaving for college at the end of the summer. If he was going to make a move it would have to be soon. Would she even be interested in a boy two years younger than her?

Her voice suddenly cut into his thoughts.

“What?” he asked, jumping again as she tried to focus his attention back on his verbs. She gave him an exasperated sigh.

“Sly, what’s up? Your concentration isn’t usually this bad.”

He could just tell her, just blurt out that he’d been madly in love with her for the best part of a year and would quite like to kiss her right now. His eyes fixed on those beautifully plump lips and he decided, since they had the classroom to themselves for once, that actions could speak much louder than words.

He moved up out of his seat, clambered across the table on his hands and knees and only paused when her lips were a breath away from his. She closed the gap, reaching up to meet him and starting a slow, tender kiss that was absolutely perfect and gave him butterflies in his belly.

 

They _might_ have gotten a little carried away.

And they just _might_ have ruined the Principal’s career when he walked into the classroom with two school governors to find them in a tangled heap of limbs and naked flesh on the table.

He was suspended for two weeks, the only black mark he’d ever got on his school record, but he never regretted it for a second.

 

 

 

2\. He’d known Walter for years; they’d shared a room at college.

They had a foolproof system for preventing this kind of thing from happening. Something had clearly gone wrong and Siler glanced at the door handle in panic. The warning they used, the red sock they hung on the door to signal “do not disturb” was missing. He was _positive_ he’d hung it; he never forgot. Set up?

His mind began to process people who might bear a grudge or anyone who might find this funny, but he had a more pressing issue to deal with right now. Namely, Walter Harriman looking extremely angry and gaping between Siler and the girl currently trying to hide her nude body under the tangled covers.

“It’s not what it looks like?” he tried, hoping humour was the way to go here.

“Not what it looks like?!” Walt yelled and Siler winced. Clearly, making jokes in this situation was a serious error in judgement! “You’re in _bed_ with my _sister_!” he continued. “How can that be anything other than what it looks like?”

Damn.

 

 

 

3\. Siler woke up cold...aching...and his head felt like someone was trying to drive a nail though his temple. He groaned at the light trying to penetrate his eyelids and tried to raise his arms to cover his face.

His arms didn’t move.

He binked his eyes open, wincing at the bright sunshine and when the blurriness cleared he groaned louder. What the hell had they done to him?

The cuffs were digging into his wrists and he shifted into a slightly more comfortable position. When he felt a fresh blast of cold air on his ass, that’s when he realised he was butt naked. And cuffed to a lamppost.

_Why_ had he let Walter organise his bachelor party?

 

 

 

4\. He’d thought all those jokes about wedding cake killing a woman’s sex drive had been just that; jokes to terrify young men and convince them to carry on their wild ways. After eight months of marriage and four months without so much as a kiss goodnight, he sure wished they’d just been jokes.

He wasn’t sure how this had all gone so wrong, so quickly, but the day she’d jerked her hand away when his fingers brushed lightly over it as they watched TV, he’d known it was the beginning of the end.   

He’d tried to be patient; tried to give her time alone, space, whatever she needed, but he was getting kind of desperate.

He’d confided in a friend, who’d tried to convince him it was normal, it would pass. He’d even suggested ways to get her interested again, all of which she’d turned down without a thought. His final solution had been to slip Siler a VHS of what his friend called “the dirtiest thing he’d ever seen”, just to take the edge off.

He’d been reluctant at first and had thrown the tape in a drawer and tried to forget about it. He had the house to himself today for the first time in months; she was out...somewhere, he didn’t really know where... and he was bored... and kinda horny. 

He pushed the tape into the machine and was greeted with a very large pair of breasts bouncing around on the screen. He settled himself on the couch, unzipped his fly and got ready to enjoy the show.

 

When she came home half an hour later to find him sprawled on the couch with his dick in his hand, she took one look at the TV screen and walked out without saying a word, slamming the door behind her.

 

 

 

5.  “I’m really not sure about this,” Sam said as Siler led her by the hand towards the back of the deserted gate room.

“Come on Sam,” he wheedled, “It’s the last one on the list.”

“That damn list,” she grumbled, but he could see her eyes shining with laughter. “How long do we have?” she asked, her eyes drifting to the closed blast doors.

“We’ll have to be quick,” he replied with a smirk. When they got to the corner he’d picked for this, he glanced up to make sure the camera really was off and then shoved her against the wall, kissing her fiercely. She moaned into his mouth and he unbuckled her belt, unzipped her pants and slid them down her legs. Her hands reached for the zip of his jumpsuit, pulled the tab right down to his crotch and slid her hand inside to grasp his hard dick. 

He growled and grasped her hips firmly.

“Put your feet flat on the wall and spread your knees,” he ordered.

Raising an eyebrow and smiling at him, she did as she was told. “You gonna be able to hold me up?” she asked.

His eyes were focussed right between her legs, where she was now fully exposed to him. She hadn’t been wearing any underwear under those BDUs. If he found out she made a habit of doing that, he thought he might just have to quit the SGC; walking around with that image in his head would guarantee he’d get no work done at all.

“Yeah,” he answered. He stepped closer and she pulled him out of his boxer shorts and gripped her thighs tight onto his. He slid inside her with a grunt, feeling her clamp her muscles tight around him as her teeth bit into his neck.

 

***

 

Jack O’Neill hated working the graveyard shift. It was so boring. Of course boring meant the world wasn’t about to end any time soon, but he found himself wandering down to the control room just to find something to do.

“Hey Walter...” he called as he strolled into the control room. He frowned when he found his view of the gate blocked. “Why are the blast doors closed?” he asked.

“They seem to be malfunctioning, sir,” Walter answered smoothly, hoping he was keeping his voice even.

“Huh. Is Carter in tonight?” the colonel asked.

Before Walter could answer, Simmons piped up next to him. “I think she went into the gate room a little while ago sir,” he said. Walter shot him a glare as Colonel O’Neill thanked him and made his way down to the gate room. Siler was going to _kill _him if he didn’t keep up his part in this little arrangement. His job was simple; keep everyone out of the gate room for as long as possible. Siler had taken care of the cameras and Major Carter had somehow managed to get the gate room completely empty of SFs for a short time. 

 

*** 

 

Siler pounded into her as hard as he could in this position; his arms were beginning to ache, his legs felt like they might give way, but he really didn’t care. He was fucking Sam Carter in the gate room and she was grasping at his back with her fingers and panting in his ear. God, she was close, he could _feel_ it, and he wasn’t far behind her.

He froze when he heard the door slide open and her eyes opened wide in shock. They tried to keep still, tried to keep their breathing quiet and not make a sound. Turning his head, he could just see Colonel O’Neill glancing around the room with a frown on his face.

They were hidden in this corner, he knew that, but the colonel had keen senses and if he heard anything unusual he was sure to discover them. God damn it, he was going to _kill_ Walter!

He felt his knee beginning to buckle and shifted his leg a little to ease the pressure, but somehow managed to push himself deeper inside Sam and make her whimper a little in the back of her throat. He lifted a hand quickly and clamped it over her mouth, his heart pounding in his chest when O’Neill looked up sharply and in their direction.

He heard a beeping sound and his heart almost leapt up into his throat. Sam’s eyes widened too. Had one of them left their pager on? He could hear her breathing quicken and watched the panic rise in her eyes.

Turning his head back to O’Neill, he saw the colonel fish something out of his pocket and swear at it.

His pager.

Oh thank _fuck!_

When he’d gone, he pulled out of Sam and stepped back, gently easing her to the ground and then running a shaking hand through his hair.

“I think that’s enough to cross it off the list,” he said and she nodded emphatically.

“Absolutely.”


End file.
